My 8 year old has recently had 2 kids (a brother and sister) showing up here everyday wanting to play with her. They live on the next block - one is in 3rd grade (8 yrs old) and one is in 1st grade (6 yrs old). They are sweet, yet horribly unsupervised children.
Every day they come over - one with no socks, one never has on a jacket. They never look "clean" - Today they came over again, the boy had on the same clothes as yesterday (no coat again - 40 degrees outside and he's riding his bike) and the girl unmatched with no socks on, in her pajama pants and a lite sweater. I came to the door and asked them "Where are your coats, guys? Aren't you freezing?" They said "No". I then asked them who was home watching them and they said their mom, but she was sleeping.
As a mother, several things come to mind:
Are these kids supervised and taken care of?
Does their mom sleep all day long and that's why these kids look like this?
Does she sleep all day because she is a single mom, overwhelmed by the demands of raising children by herself?
Does she sleep all the time during the day? Does she work nights?
Not sure what to do, and didn't want to come off as a nosey neighbor, but you know what? From what I've seen so far these kids run the neighborhood too far from home unsupervised and always look unclean and not taken care of. So, I went over to their house - I drove up and down the street until I found it. What I saw was mortifying, sad, and now I feel like I don't know what to do.
The house was in complete and total squalor, for starters. Sh!t everywhere. Food, clothes, dirty dishes, crap as far as the eye could see. 2nd, the kids came to the door and let me in, I stood in the door way while they "woke up mom" - She came out, I shook her hand, introduced myself and asked her if I could speak to her in private.
We went in her bedroom and talked for 10 minutes. During the conversation I asked her if she needed help - if she was overwhelmed - if there was anything I could do for her - if there were any family members who could help her, etc. SHe took my # from me and explained that she is recovering from surgery - O.K. understandable why she would be sleeping during the day. But still the kids were totally unsupervised and that is just WRONG.
The most horrifying part comes next...
After 10 minutes of talking to the mom in her bedroom while the door was closed she opens the door and brings me in the kitchen to meet "the baby". Yes friends, there was a 15 month old sitting in the highchair in the kitchen with Zwieback crackers on her high chair, hapy as a clam, eating away. The part that bothers me is this: We were talking for 10 minutes and the baby was in the high chair unsupervised, she was sleeping in the bedroom with the door shut when i came to her house and the baby was obviously in the high chair with snacks unsupervised. I'm sure the older kids (8 & 6 mind you) helped mom watch the baby, but that is not their responsibility. And they were not helping mom watch the baby when they were at my house earlier today.
What do I do?
Do I "pop in" unexpected again in a few days to see if the situation is still the same? Am I over reacting? Do I get the principal at the school involved in checking up (then, I'm quite sure Child Protective Services will be called) - I don't want to have that cross on my shoulders but MOST IMPORTANTLY my GUT FEELING today told me to go over there and see what the hell is going on ~ and you know what? My intuition was right, it was pretty sad.
So, what do you guys think? Stay on top of it - ignore it - don't make a mountain out of a molehill (although how could you NOT) - offer help (did that today) - any other suggestions?
Thanks!
ps. Makes me THANK GOD for my sense of self in terms of being responsible and being a good parent. This could be any of us in this situation.
Every day they come over - one with no socks, one never has on a jacket. They never look "clean" - Today they came over again, the boy had on the same clothes as yesterday (no coat again - 40 degrees outside and he's riding his bike) and the girl unmatched with no socks on, in her pajama pants and a lite sweater. I came to the door and asked them "Where are your coats, guys? Aren't you freezing?" They said "No". I then asked them who was home watching them and they said their mom, but she was sleeping.
As a mother, several things come to mind:
Are these kids supervised and taken care of?
Does their mom sleep all day long and that's why these kids look like this?
Does she sleep all day because she is a single mom, overwhelmed by the demands of raising children by herself?
Does she sleep all the time during the day? Does she work nights?
Not sure what to do, and didn't want to come off as a nosey neighbor, but you know what? From what I've seen so far these kids run the neighborhood too far from home unsupervised and always look unclean and not taken care of. So, I went over to their house - I drove up and down the street until I found it. What I saw was mortifying, sad, and now I feel like I don't know what to do.
The house was in complete and total squalor, for starters. Sh!t everywhere. Food, clothes, dirty dishes, crap as far as the eye could see. 2nd, the kids came to the door and let me in, I stood in the door way while they "woke up mom" - She came out, I shook her hand, introduced myself and asked her if I could speak to her in private.
We went in her bedroom and talked for 10 minutes. During the conversation I asked her if she needed help - if she was overwhelmed - if there was anything I could do for her - if there were any family members who could help her, etc. SHe took my # from me and explained that she is recovering from surgery - O.K. understandable why she would be sleeping during the day. But still the kids were totally unsupervised and that is just WRONG.
The most horrifying part comes next...
After 10 minutes of talking to the mom in her bedroom while the door was closed she opens the door and brings me in the kitchen to meet "the baby". Yes friends, there was a 15 month old sitting in the highchair in the kitchen with Zwieback crackers on her high chair, hapy as a clam, eating away. The part that bothers me is this: We were talking for 10 minutes and the baby was in the high chair unsupervised, she was sleeping in the bedroom with the door shut when i came to her house and the baby was obviously in the high chair with snacks unsupervised. I'm sure the older kids (8 & 6 mind you) helped mom watch the baby, but that is not their responsibility. And they were not helping mom watch the baby when they were at my house earlier today.
What do I do?
Do I "pop in" unexpected again in a few days to see if the situation is still the same? Am I over reacting? Do I get the principal at the school involved in checking up (then, I'm quite sure Child Protective Services will be called) - I don't want to have that cross on my shoulders but MOST IMPORTANTLY my GUT FEELING today told me to go over there and see what the hell is going on ~ and you know what? My intuition was right, it was pretty sad.
So, what do you guys think? Stay on top of it - ignore it - don't make a mountain out of a molehill (although how could you NOT) - offer help (did that today) - any other suggestions?
Thanks!
ps. Makes me THANK GOD for my sense of self in terms of being responsible and being a good parent. This could be any of us in this situation.