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How long does it take to get beyond an identity crisis if one isn't sure he/she is gay? Seriously.
At What Age Did You Realize
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I never really questioned. The gay friends that I have said about 16ish is when they figured out they were on the other side of normal.
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QUOTE(threecrabs @ Mar 10 2004, 10:19 AM)
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You had to figure out you are heterosexual??
I'm not one that had to think about it. Not a peter peeper in the boys shower, if you know what I mean. But I know of others that had to go through a period of identity crisis. This thread was more to get the heterosexuals to respond in the affirmative. So far, Hazy, ThreeCrabs and myself aren't gay.
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I'm not one that had to think about it. Not a peter peeper in the boys shower, if you know what I mean. But I know of others that had to go through a period of identity crisis. This thread was more to get the heterosexuals to respond in the affirmative. So far, Hazy, ThreeCrabs and myself aren't gay.
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QUOTE(traveler @ Mar 10 2004, 11:12 AM)WTF kind of question is this??
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Phil,, But reeeeaaaalllyyy!!!
Traveler, well I ain't sure yet. He might be straddling the fence. What's the public opinion???
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Phil,, But reeeeaaaalllyyy!!!
Traveler, well I ain't sure yet. He might be straddling the fence. What's the public opinion???
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QUOTE(xtctherapy.phil @ Mar 10 2004, 11:12 AM)But I know of others that had to go through a period of identity crisis.
I have a gay friend....he's always told me that he knew when he was very young......He only dated girls to confirm his feelings about men.
You do know!!! No identity crisis, but maybe denial....Really.....who cares......they are whom they are and if it's a friend of mine I could care less who they sleep with (so long as it's safe
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I have a gay friend....he's always told me that he knew when he was very young......He only dated girls to confirm his feelings about men.
You do know!!! No identity crisis, but maybe denial....Really.....who cares......they are whom they are and if it's a friend of mine I could care less who they sleep with (so long as it's safe
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I was about nine.........Got a funny little twich in my pants
when I was watching Gilligans Island for Maryanne..
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when I was watching Gilligans Island for Maryanne..
QUOTE(xtctherapy.phil @ Mar 10 2004, 11:14 AM)QUOTE(traveler @ Mar 10 2004, 11:12 AM) WTF kind of question is this??
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Phil,, But reeeeaaaalllyyy!!!
Traveler, well I ain't sure yet. He might be straddling the fence. What's the public opinion???
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Whoooa don't go there Phil. I don't take offense but my brother passed away from AIDS. He did go through a major identity crisis in high school. It was pretty painful watching him trying to go out with women and having so many issues, pounding the walls with his fists. When he finally came to terms with it, he went pretty nuts and was basically "porking" anything that walked. I think it was tough for him having 4 brothers who were all into sports and "chicks". But when we found out, while we teased him and his "booty buddy", it was actually pretty accepting and in good fun.
Phil,, But reeeeaaaalllyyy!!!
Traveler, well I ain't sure yet. He might be straddling the fence. What's the public opinion???
Whoooa don't go there Phil. I don't take offense but my brother passed away from AIDS. He did go through a major identity crisis in high school. It was pretty painful watching him trying to go out with women and having so many issues, pounding the walls with his fists. When he finally came to terms with it, he went pretty nuts and was basically "porking" anything that walked. I think it was tough for him having 4 brothers who were all into sports and "chicks". But when we found out, while we teased him and his "booty buddy", it was actually pretty accepting and in good fun.
I have talked with quite a few gay people in my day, and all of the guys I have talked with all say they knew since they were little boys. They usually have a strange attraction to male TV stars, teachers, or etc. They are usually confused when they are young and don't know why that is....and that is why, as they are growing up, they date girls (because that is what is expected). They don't like having those feelings, but as they get older they are sick of being internally miserable...... and that's when they usually come "out."
For some "coming out" is easier if they have supportive family and friends, others (unfortunatley) don't. That's when they usually turn to drugs and alike to help alleviate the emotional pain they are going through.
I am speaking from experience, since a close family member of mine is gay. We knew he was gay way before he would admit it to himself. It's not that he was acting "gay" in anyway, it was just a feeling. It is something you really can not explain with words, you just have to experience it. Believe me when I say.....nobody would choose that lifestyle....that is the way they were born.
As for girls....I think they are more socially tolerated and don't have it as bad as the guys do.
For some "coming out" is easier if they have supportive family and friends, others (unfortunatley) don't. That's when they usually turn to drugs and alike to help alleviate the emotional pain they are going through.
I am speaking from experience, since a close family member of mine is gay. We knew he was gay way before he would admit it to himself. It's not that he was acting "gay" in anyway, it was just a feeling. It is something you really can not explain with words, you just have to experience it. Believe me when I say.....nobody would choose that lifestyle....that is the way they were born.
As for girls....I think they are more socially tolerated and don't have it as bad as the guys do.
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QUOTE(traveler @ Mar 10 2004, 11:20 AM)QUOTE(xtctherapy.phil @ Mar 10 2004, 11:14 AM) QUOTE(traveler @ Mar 10 2004, 11:12 AM) WTF kind of question is this??
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Phil,, But reeeeaaaalllyyy!!!
Traveler, well I ain't sure yet. He might be straddling the fence. What's the public opinion???
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Whoooa don't go there Phil. I don't take offense but my brother passed away from AIDS. He did go through a major identity crisis in high school. It was pretty painful watching him trying to go out with women and having so many issues, pounding the walls with his fists. When he finally came to terms with it, he went pretty nuts. But when we found out, while we teased him and his "booty buddy", it was actually pretty accepting and in good fun.
Maybe I need to answer your first question more honestly, Traveler. When I saw a (to me) repeat post of last week by another peep I felt like what's this forum coming to? She asked at what age did you have first boy/girlfriend? Without judging (although I realized lots of peeps aren't doing anything all day--thereby giving themselves to such stuff as this/that) I felt I would ask a similar query, while trying to be serious. When I saw you actually answered the other thread, with your third grade experience, I didn't know what to think of it all. I regret hearing of how close the AIDS epidemic hit home for you. And that you don't take my comment personal is an important point--that some others could possibly heed. Peace to ya.
Phil,, But reeeeaaaalllyyy!!!
Traveler, well I ain't sure yet. He might be straddling the fence. What's the public opinion???
Whoooa don't go there Phil. I don't take offense but my brother passed away from AIDS. He did go through a major identity crisis in high school. It was pretty painful watching him trying to go out with women and having so many issues, pounding the walls with his fists. When he finally came to terms with it, he went pretty nuts. But when we found out, while we teased him and his "booty buddy", it was actually pretty accepting and in good fun.
Maybe I need to answer your first question more honestly, Traveler. When I saw a (to me) repeat post of last week by another peep I felt like what's this forum coming to? She asked at what age did you have first boy/girlfriend? Without judging (although I realized lots of peeps aren't doing anything all day--thereby giving themselves to such stuff as this/that) I felt I would ask a similar query, while trying to be serious. When I saw you actually answered the other thread, with your third grade experience, I didn't know what to think of it all. I regret hearing of how close the AIDS epidemic hit home for you. And that you don't take my comment personal is an important point--that some others could possibly heed. Peace to ya.
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Sorry about your brother Traveler.
I'm not gay, but I don't think there is anything wrong with being gay, I have known a few gay people in the world and they all rock!
Like Robynator states, I think both men and woman experience this feeling at a very young age maybe even at birth.
I'm not gay, but I don't think there is anything wrong with being gay, I have known a few gay people in the world and they all rock!
Like Robynator states, I think both men and woman experience this feeling at a very young age maybe even at birth.
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I think I was still in the womb!!
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Never questioned it seriously.
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I was attracted to girls from a very early age. I remember playing a game behind the garage with a neighbor girl where I would drop a twig down her dress and then go fishing for it from the bottom up! I guess she must have been a little attracted to me to tolerate that foolishness, eh?
I think this is the same experience gay people have. From a very early age they are attracted to their same sex. Most deny their feelings for quite awhile. The bravest eventually decide they need to live their lives as the people they are and I respect them for their courage.
Being gay is not "unnatural". The incidence of being born gay is about the same as being left handed. In fact, a gay person is acting perverted when they try to date the opposite sex, because that isn't what attracts them naturally. It will be great when we all accept that gayness is not a selected "lifestyle" but a born trait and no more appropriate for discrimination than skin color. Promiscuity can be a serious problem for all people, but it's hypocritical to condemn gays for sleeping around when we heteros did the same, usually, before finding someone special.
The forces that are massing against gays, as if they have to fight the battle of the Alamo to save "family values", are missing a powerful statistic aligned against them. About 16 million Americans are gay. They each have two parents so add another 32 million to that, and they probably average one sibling for another 16 million. So without going beyond gays, theirs moms, dads, brothers, and sisters, we are already at 64 million Americans who know that gays aren't "weirdos". Add a couple more people each for extended family members and we're at 96 million. And every gay person must have one non-gay friend for a very conservative count of 112 million Americans who are related or very close to a gay person.
I count myself in that number - I work with gay men and count them among my close friends, my first "girlfriend" realized later she was gay, and most importantly I have a son who happens to be gay. He is a hard-working, loving, considerate person and I'm proud to be his dad. He is not a pervert or child molester, and he just wants to meet and settle down with someone who loves him just like we all want.
If you are conflicted about the issue of accepting gays as full citizens, you may want to get to know one or two. And there are very good books available that put into words what you may be feeling. One that helped me was "Straight Parents, Gay Children" at the New Baltimore library.
I hope the time is right for this country to confront and get past its next big prejudice - I think it is. God bless America.
I think this is the same experience gay people have. From a very early age they are attracted to their same sex. Most deny their feelings for quite awhile. The bravest eventually decide they need to live their lives as the people they are and I respect them for their courage.
Being gay is not "unnatural". The incidence of being born gay is about the same as being left handed. In fact, a gay person is acting perverted when they try to date the opposite sex, because that isn't what attracts them naturally. It will be great when we all accept that gayness is not a selected "lifestyle" but a born trait and no more appropriate for discrimination than skin color. Promiscuity can be a serious problem for all people, but it's hypocritical to condemn gays for sleeping around when we heteros did the same, usually, before finding someone special.
The forces that are massing against gays, as if they have to fight the battle of the Alamo to save "family values", are missing a powerful statistic aligned against them. About 16 million Americans are gay. They each have two parents so add another 32 million to that, and they probably average one sibling for another 16 million. So without going beyond gays, theirs moms, dads, brothers, and sisters, we are already at 64 million Americans who know that gays aren't "weirdos". Add a couple more people each for extended family members and we're at 96 million. And every gay person must have one non-gay friend for a very conservative count of 112 million Americans who are related or very close to a gay person.
I count myself in that number - I work with gay men and count them among my close friends, my first "girlfriend" realized later she was gay, and most importantly I have a son who happens to be gay. He is a hard-working, loving, considerate person and I'm proud to be his dad. He is not a pervert or child molester, and he just wants to meet and settle down with someone who loves him just like we all want.
If you are conflicted about the issue of accepting gays as full citizens, you may want to get to know one or two. And there are very good books available that put into words what you may be feeling. One that helped me was "Straight Parents, Gay Children" at the New Baltimore library.
I hope the time is right for this country to confront and get past its next big prejudice - I think it is. God bless America.
QUOTE(threecrabs @ Mar 10 2004, 11:18 AM)QUOTE(xtctherapy.phil @ Mar 10 2004, 11:12 AM) But I know of others that had to go through a period of identity crisis.
I have a gay friend....he's always told me that he knew when he was very young......He only dated girls to confirm his feelings about men.
You do know!!! No identity crisis, but maybe denial....Really.....who cares......they are whom they are and if it's a friend of mine I could care less who they sleep with (so long as it's safe
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Again, I agree with you lisa my mentor.
Common sence tells me I knew what I was all of my life so I'm sure that a gay person would know thier sexual preferance all of thier life.
Mine was definetly confirmed when I was approached by a **** when I was in my early teens. My reaction...
I freaked out and and told this psycho to get as far away from me as possible.
I have a gay friend....he's always told me that he knew when he was very young......He only dated girls to confirm his feelings about men.
You do know!!! No identity crisis, but maybe denial....Really.....who cares......they are whom they are and if it's a friend of mine I could care less who they sleep with (so long as it's safe
Again, I agree with you lisa my mentor.
Common sence tells me I knew what I was all of my life so I'm sure that a gay person would know thier sexual preferance all of thier life.
Mine was definetly confirmed when I was approached by a **** when I was in my early teens. My reaction...
I freaked out and and told this psycho to get as far away from me as possible.
I'm not a man but I can understand gay men.
But as far as women go If you haven't been with a man don't say that you are gay unless you try it first.
I tell you what there is more to sex than just comming.
There is no plastic, rubber, metal or what ever lifeless dildo that can turn me on like the real thing. It's all about the for play the kissing the intamace the holding and "HAVING THE REAL THING"
But as far as women go If you haven't been with a man don't say that you are gay unless you try it first.
I tell you what there is more to sex than just comming.
There is no plastic, rubber, metal or what ever lifeless dildo that can turn me on like the real thing. It's all about the for play the kissing the intamace the holding and "HAVING THE REAL THING"
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