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BRICKLAYER'S ACCIDENT REPORT

Possibly the funniest story in a while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died,
he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor,I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally,impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry."

JIM WHITE



edit: cleaned up formatting
 

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Toooo FUNNY!
 

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Yes it sounds like it could happen too with poor planning! LOL
 

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Sounds like a Road Runner cartoon.
 

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sounds like something that would happen to me.
 

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QUOTE(surfergirlck @ Jul 29 2003, 03:58 PM)sounds like something that would happen to me.
I know it has happened to CBJ!
and some other peeps too!
 
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that is funny, i had a bad accident with a meat grinder.
just a helpful hint when grinding meat / grounround, where clothes, atleast briefs for gods sake.
but i am 3 times the man i was before the accident, ladies
 

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QUOTE(Snowmaker @ Jul 29 2003, 02:56 PM)Sounds like a Road Runner cartoon.

ya it does, i can totally picture that for real and in cartoon form


Funny story Eddie
 

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QUOTE(Mahn Grayvee @ Jul 29 2003, 03:59 PM)that is funny, i had a bad accident with a meat grinder.
just a helpful hint when grinding meat / grounround, where clothes, atleast briefs for gods sake.
but i am 3 times the man i was before the accident, ladies

But going from 1/2 an inch to1 1/2 inches isnt that impressive.
 

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Believe it or not, I found this exact article on the internet about 6 months ago and printed it for a safety training meeting!
 

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Actually you can make this stuff up! (Sorry for the history lesson Peeps)

It has been recorded as a song by over 100 different artists, including the Dubliners and Ray Stevens, this dates back to the 1920's

Pat Cooksey on the History of this Song

It is generally assumed that I based this song on Gerard Hoffnung's wonderful address to
THE OXFORD UNION in 1958. This is not correct -- the recitation in a more simple form dates
back to the English Music Hall's of the 1920's and was printed in the Readers Digest in 1937 in
the form of a story.
The fine Scottish singer and songwriter Dick Gaughan details some of the above on his
Homepage together with comments by Sam Hinton. The song is unique in as much as it appears
under such a galaxy of titles but always the same song,and it's worldwide popularity, with over
100 recordings to date,is a wonder indeed to me when I think back to it's humble beginnings in
The Dyer's Arms, in Coventry. I am naturally delighted that so many wonderful artist's have
recorded and performed my song over the years and I am very proud that the song has given so
much pleasure to so many people,long may it continue to do so.

Alternative Titles for this Song:

1. Paddy and the Barrel
2. Paddy and the Rope
3. Paddy and the Brick's
4. The Bricklayer's Song
5. Murphy and the Brick's
6. Brendan and the Brick's
7. The Excuse Note
8. Why Paddy's not at work Today
9. Dear Boss
10. The Barrel Song
11. The Sick Letter
12. Why Yassirs not at work Today

The above song under all alternative titles has always been and remains the sole copywright
of the original writer, PAT COOKSEY. The song was composed and first performed by me in
Coventry in 1969 and is registered with THE PERFORMING RIGHTS SOCIETY in London under
it's original title THE SICK NOTE and all the above alternative titles. No other Artist or Writer had
any part in the writing of this song nor may any claim be made for arrangement, the song under
all the above titles is performed in it's original form,only the Title has been changed.
 
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