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As you read this, keep in mind, this is from a male's point of view.Finally, the guys side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good
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We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules guys! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way .

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
 

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Man it's no wonder I'm happy single; should think about becoming a lesbian when the time comes for some emotional ties!
 

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ABSOLUTLY FUNNY!!!!!!


I WILL HAVE TO PRINT A COPY FOR MY SOON TO BE EX-WIFE!!!!!!
 

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what ?? is there something wrong with this? whats wrong with asking somene to wait till commercial to talk ?
 

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QUOTE(pauligan @ Oct 21 2003, 01:30 PM)Man it's no wonder I'm happy single; should think about becoming a lesbian when the time comes for some emotional ties!

Cool! Nothing hotter than a chick with a mullet!! Or would you be a lipstick lesbian?
 

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QUOTE(pauligan @ Oct 21 2003, 01:30 PM)Man it's no wonder I'm happy single; should think about becoming a lesbian when the time comes for some emotional ties!

carpet munchin,...sweeeeeet
 

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QUOTE(Fast~Eddie @ Oct 21 2003, 03:55 PM)QUOTE(pauligan @ Oct 21 2003, 01:30 PM) Man it's no wonder I'm happy single; should think about becoming a lesbian when the time comes for some emotional ties!

carpet munchin,...sweeeeeet

This sounds like a huge money making opportunity! I'll manage, you munch and well get Swenson wedding video to role the tape!

Eddie, how do you feel abut a great new sales opening?
 

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i know eddie would be good at sales. he would buy all the tapes...
 

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Men's rules to carpet munchin...hmmmmmmmmm...


Anyway, i could live with most of those rules, i feel the same way about a lot of them

EXCEPT- the toilet!!!!! YOU GUYS NEVER FALL IN IF WE LEAVE THE SEAT DOWN!!!!

Other than that, most of it's tolerable
 

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QUOTEDookie Posted on Oct 21 2003, 06:28 PM
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Anyway, i could live with most of those rules, i feel the same way about a lot of them

EXCEPT- the toilet!!!!! YOU GUYS NEVER FALL IN IF WE LEAVE THE SEAT DOWN!!!!

I don't get it, I have never sat on a terlet without checking if the seat is down in the first place. Why do women just sit without checking first, it bogles the mind ???
 

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QUOTE!!!!! YOU GUYS NEVER FALL IN IF WE LEAVE THE SEAT DOWN!!!!
cool, dont b!tch if the seats a lil wet when we try to aim in the lil hole
 

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QUOTE(MikeRyan @ Oct 21 2003, 11:41 PM)QUOTE!!!!! YOU GUYS NEVER FALL IN IF WE LEAVE THE SEAT DOWN!!!!
cool, dont b!tch if the seats a lil wet when we try to aim in the lil hole

There are two parts to the toilet seat.. I'm capable of lifting the first lid to get to the actual seat w/o peeing on it and then closing it again, you should be too.


And AJU-a time like this is perfect, i woke up in the middle of the night, eyses foggy and sensitive to the light, and half asleep....thats how we can manage to sit down w/o looking first.

I guess it's all about picking your battles, thats one i would argue for. Toilet paper on backwards, toothpaste all cruddy from being lazy about putting the cap on right...those are easily fixed. Having to shower your butt off in the middle of the night, now thats a different story.
 

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QUOTE(Dookie @ Oct 22 2003, 03:17 AM)QUOTE(MikeRyan @ Oct 21 2003, 11:41 PM) QUOTE!!!!! YOU GUYS NEVER FALL IN IF WE LEAVE THE SEAT DOWN!!!!
cool, dont b!tch if the seats a lil wet when we try to aim in the lil hole

Having to shower your butt off in the middle of the night, now thats a different story.

Yeah, but what a cool visual!

sorry, couldn't resist
 

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QUOTE(All Jacked Up @ Oct 21 2003, 06:49 PM)QUOTEDookie Posted on Oct 21 2003, 06:28 PM
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Anyway, i could live with most of those rules, i feel the same way about a lot of them

EXCEPT- the toilet!!!!! YOU GUYS NEVER FALL IN IF WE LEAVE THE SEAT DOWN!!!!

I don't get it, I have never sat on a terlet without checking if the seat is down in the first place. Why do women just sit without checking first, it bogles the mind ???
I always check to see if the seat is up/down. I don't get it myself. <_<
 
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