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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have 4 Phones on my verizon account.

I am cancelling step daughters, let her have her own phone bill. That is all I asked from the wife to do.
Well not gonna happen.
See if she stays at verizon she can have same number. And we pay nothing.
She leaves verizon wh pay 150.00 charge.
She has been acting up something terrible. She is 18, I am no longer paying for her privledges.
Phone, car insurance, etc....

Told her Thursday, today was her deadline.

Now she says she for 35.00 she can get unlimited with a different carrier. she looses her number, and we pay 150.00
I am arguing with wife about it, i asked 1 thing, that the phone not be on our contract, so when she misses payment
I am not the bad person.
Well,l lost that again. Tired of the step kids drama, and spolied attitudes.
Now I can't even get this accomplished.
Am I wrong? If so why?

She dropped out of Macomb 1/2 through both classes, last semester, I paid for it, she acted as if she was going to school.
She lies to her boyfriends parents, telling them Kim and I wasnt her out of the house before her sisters baby is born...100% lie. Why so she can move out and play house with her 29 year old boyfriend. Mind you she is 18. And Kim and I both have serious reservations about her dating a 29 yr old, problem is, what can we really, she is 18.

anyway I am angry that now I have to leave her on my account, and she will pay us. That is the only thing I did not want.
 

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How much time is left on the contract? I would leave it be for now not worth the headache.

Or....

If this boyfriend has Verizon have the phone transferred to his account, no cost to you. I had to do that with my youngest daughter's phone when she turned 18 and lost all maturity, not a boyfriends but her grandmother's.
 

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QUOTE(Fast~Eddie @ Aug 31 2009, 04:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>I have 4 Phones on my verizon account.

I am cancelling step daughters, let her have her own phone bill. That is all I asked from the wife to do.
Well not gonna happen.
See if she stays at verizon she can have same number. And we pay nothing.
She leaves verizon wh pay 150.00 charge.
She has been acting up something terrible. She is 18, I am no longer paying for her privledges.
Phone, car insurance, etc....

Told her Thursday, today was her deadline.

Now she says she for 35.00 she can get unlimited with a different carrier. she looses her number, and we pay 150.00
I am arguing with wife about it, i asked 1 thing, that the phone not be on our contract, so when she misses payment
I am not the bad person.
Well,l lost that again. Tired of the step kids drama, and spolied attitudes.
Now I can't even get this accomplished.
Am I wrong? If so why?

She dropped out of Macomb 1/2 through both classes, last semester, I paid for it, she acted as if she was going to school.
She lies to her boyfriends parents, telling them Kim and I wasnt her out of the house before her sisters baby is born...100% lie. Why so she can move out and play house with her 29 year old boyfriend. Mind you she is 18. And Kim and I both have serious reservations about her dating a 29 yr old, problem is, what can we really, she is 18.

anyway I am angry that now I have to leave her on my account, and she will pay us. That is the only thing I did not want.

She's 18 and he's 29


I'm not 100% sure so check with a lawyer first, but I think you can legally kill him in Michigan.
 

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I'm with you on this one, Eddie. Time for her to learn some adult responsibility, and that means taking care of herself. It's one thing if she's in school, then I think think the parents have to financially support the kids, but if she chooses to drop out, then she's over 18 and on her own. As far as the boyfriend, well, I'm sure most parents wish they could choose their kids boyfriends and girlfriends, but hey, we all dated people that drove our parents crazy, that's the main job of a kid. LOL

As far as the phone, let her figure out what to do, have her talk to the phone companies, whatever. Again, let her take the responsibility. If she wants a phone, she'll figure it out, and pay for it too. Same with car expenses. If she wants the privilege of driving a car, then she pays for it.

Eddie, you've done your job, you gave her the tools to run her life. Now she needs to do just that.
 

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Sounds like what I went through with my step daughter. I did cancel the phone, and paid the termination fee ($250, I think) Told her she either needed to be in school full time, and with passing grades, or get a full time job with benefits. She and I went at it for a while, but her mom was with me. That makes all the difference. End of the story, she grew up, got married and I got two grand daughters
Only advice I can give is stick to your guns......it's not her house....
 

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How much extra is it to have the line on your account? I am on VZ too, and I pay $10/mo for an extra number and phone (for son).... I agree, I would just leave the line on rather than pay a termination charge, and if I was forced to pay a termination charge I'd probably move the rest of my phones to another service.

I thought you could move any phone number to any other carrier.. not true?
 

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Reverend Pete here,
Let me council you.

Children are God's way of punishing us for having once been children ourselves.
They are like the Black Plague, one tiny germ grows up and kills us from the inside out.

Children are BAD and should be avoided at all costs, but whatever you do,, wash your hands after.

Children are bad.
Daughters are way worse,,
but
Step daughters are "The Worst", because thay aren't yours, and trying to discipline them,
results in the "Mother Bear Syndrome".
The "Mother Bear Syndrome" can get your F*CKIN head BITTEN OFF.
Great care must be taken to preserve one's own head under these types of situations.

Leave the house and go smoke a big fat joint.
Chill Dude.!!!!!

Let the mother bear deal with the Black Plague on her own.
Make sure that the Mother Bear KNOWS that you will "BUTT THE F*CK OUT",
and that you will leave the entire mess to her to, "clean up ALL by herself".
She created the GERM, ler her do the DISINFECTING all alone.

You might suffer a mild mauling for refusing to help,,,,
But, "HELPING",,, just might kill you.

A wise man once said,,,,,
"YES DEAR", "Whatever you wish dear".

Look for the bright spot on the horizon.
There isn't one,,,, but look for one anyway.

And besides,,,, in about 5 or 10 years from now she will probable move out,
and then you might feel some relief,,,,,
until she moves back in again, with her three little baby GERMS,,,, from the 29 year old.

But rest assured,,, he won't be anywhere around by then, so you won't need to deal with him.
He will probably have a new pregnant 18 year old girlfriend by then, or he will be in jail

So remember three things,,
1, There is no bright spot on the horizon, but look for one anyway.
2, Smoke POT
3, "YES DEAR", "Whatever you wish dear".

God bless you.
He won't, but it sounds like a good thing to say at a time like this

Condolances
Reverend Pete 'theGWAP'
 

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Eddie, a long shot, but worth a try. Have you talked to Verizon about restricting her phone - so that she can only call numbers you designate as necessary; you, wife, police/fire, other older relatives, NO OTHERS besides what you designate, etc. This will eliminate her running up any type of bill, and also make the phone useless to her...... which is what you really want, right.

We are going through something similar with my 20yo sister in law, sort of, but you have to add in the convict boyfriend, threats of physical harm, harassment, and so on...... Nonetheless, her father contacted AT&T wireless and had her account restricted in the fashion I described. It was quite easy, and I would have to assume Verizon has a similar set up.

And yeah, about the boyfriend........ ahhhh, that's for another thread..... but he no live here no more.....
 

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Having a few cocktails and comparing notes would be easier...but, they don't have to be a step daughter to be rebellious! Even good kids have their moments....I found it cheaper to keep the phone rather than paying the early termination fee. Then they can figure out the real cost when they go buy their own phone and contract. My daughter ended up turning in that phone within the 30 days trial period when she found it wasn't cheaper or better than what we have. Good luck~
 

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QUOTE(Pachanga_Rick @ Aug 31 2009, 05:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>She's 18 and he's 29


I'm not 100% sure so check with a lawyer first, but I think you can legally kill him in Michigan.

29 and dating a 40 year old I can except, but she's 18, wtf is he thinking?? Thankfully I have not had that problem, knocking on some wood right now.
 

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I would take the phone from her, pay the $10 month for the most basic service until you can cancel the contract. It will probably be cheaper than paying the up front cancellation charge.

Or if your wife is set on your daughter having a cell phone that you must manage the bill on, then you should also manage the service. Limit the use & access on the phone. I can understand why your wife would want to have some reliable way of contacting her daughter, she probably feels she is losing control of her daughter and the cell phone gives her some form of control over her daughter.

If your step-daughter is not smart enough to realize having a cell phone is a privledge not a right, then you may have a long road in front of you. When my oldest daughter wanted her first cell phone, we made her pay for the phone, we paid the line fee, but she had to save for the phone. And now our daughters must pay us if they do any download for ringtones or incur extra charges. Once in a while we will treat them to a download, but not very often.

Being a "step-daughter" myself, I was very greatful for all the things my step-dad offered me. My mom got re-married when I was 15, and my sisters were 17 & 18. My step-dad also had three daughters and a son (all between 13 -18). So as you can imagine, it was a quite an adventure! (I could write a book about it) All kids act differently in blended families. But what I can say is that the kids that stayed in an environment with rules (my mom & step-dad's house), have turned out to be more successful than those who went to live with my dad and step-mom who allowed more freedom, and did not teach responsibility.

My mom & step-dad required us to pay weekly rent if we were not full-time students once we turned 18. It wasn't much ($50-$75/week), but it taught us responsibility and how to budget our money.

Good luck!
 

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I agree with what others have said. Although, I'm only starting to get into some of those situations.


Worse come to worse, post a bunch of embarrassing stuff on her FaceBook.


QUOTE(Goose @ Aug 31 2009, 09:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>i only told HER i was 29, im really 40!!!!
 

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Hey Eddie,
Without me trying to get personal in your life and me having dealt with similar issues in the past, to me number one issue is you and the Mrs. When the daughter is gone, it's still going to be the 2 of you. Your step-daughter is going to do exactly what she wants to do being 18 and you trying to get in the way will cause a triangle between you, the Mrs and the daughter.
A phone is a small cost in your life... Showing support to the step-daughter will win more wars at this time meaning that sure, the kid is wrong, but at 18 she is trying to show her independence. Granted, her choices are wrong, but, who is really looking to be at fault if you step in and get in her way. She is looking for an excuse to leave the nest and giving her a hard time she can use you as an excuse to leave by saying that living with you is blah, blah, blah.... IMPOSSIBLE&#8230;
Sit down and talk calmly to her and your wife letting her know that the choices that she makes are her own even though you may not agree with her; she needs to know that she is loved and has both of your support. Talk to her about birth control and safe sex... Get it out in the open...
I would let her know that if she decides to leave home then as far as you are concerned, your financial obligations will only continue for a few months until she gets settled in her new life and then the rest is up to her. If she wants to play house, then she needs to be grown up enough to accept the responsibility and financial burdens that go along with it.
It is never an easy choice having to deal with children/step children in today's society. The pressures that they face are quite different then when we grew up. I kind of believe that you have spent so much time raising your children and teaching them the rules of the household, letting them know what is expected of them if they want to live in your home. Now the time comes for you and the Mrs. to let her make her own choices by giving a lot of slack in the rope that you have always used to pull her back in her life if she has messed up like when she was younger. If she messed up back then, you pulled her back in, told her what was wrong and let her have slack in her life once again to experience life.
To me, telling a child no over and over is not the thing to do. The thing to do is to give them the rules and let them live within those rules or guidelines when they are under your nest and if they mess up, you pull them back in, tell what they did wrong and then let them try again. At your step-daughters age 18, it is a very hard thing to just let go of that rope and let her go knowing that she is probably making the wrong decision, but, that the decision is hers alone and that you and not going to get in her way.
Eddie, I hope that you and the Mrs. Can take a deep breath, show love, support and agree on the choices that affect your daughter together&#8230;.

Rich (TPF)
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thanks all.

FYI - She pays no rent either.

What I am going t allow to happen, for now.
I am going to allow her to pay us for the phone.
I think she is gong to have to pay me, verses her mother, so I know if she is really paid.
She goes 3 days past without any comments.
It is shut off, period. I will pay the 150.00 fee.

I just do not want to argue with the wife, we argue enough over her kids.
 

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QUOTE(Away Point @ Aug 31 2009, 10:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>I agree with what others have said. Although, I'm only starting to get into some of those situations.


Worse come to worse, post a bunch of embarrassing stuff on her FaceBook.

Then she'll ban you from her FB...that doesn't work.


Eddie~does not matter if they are yours, hers or both...kids are kids and will test the boundaries, especially at 18; it's the magic age, lol. I have learned to step back and let 'em learn a few lessons by their own mistakes. They really remember consequences tht they experienced on their own verses you talking/preaching to them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
QUOTE(Threecrabs @ Sep 1 2009, 09:51 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>QUOTE(Away Point @ Aug 31 2009, 10:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>I agree with what others have said. Although, I'm only starting to get into some of those situations.


Worse come to worse, post a bunch of embarrassing stuff on her FaceBook.

Then she'll ban you from her FB...that doesn't work.


Eddie~does not matter if they are yours, hers or both...kids are kids and will test the boundaries, especially at 18; it's the magic age, lol. I have learned to step back and let 'em learn a few lessons by their own mistakes. They really remember consequences tht they experienced on their own verses you talking/preaching to them.


I am done.
I removed myself from her facebook, for I am done.
Like I said, this is 3rd strike on exact same actions.
15, 17, and now 18.
 

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Good luck Eddie,

My step daughter is now 15, and already I'm going threw the same thing. Maybe I should be telling myself good luck. But, yes you still got to show love, it helps to calm people. Don't let it blow up on you, and your WIFE NEEDS TO BE ON YOUR SIDE. After all you are the adults and adults know better. Trust me.
 

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Finally Bugsy Seagull said something along the lines on what I was thinking, why is it that every kid has to have a cell phone, do you not have a home phone. Will the world end if she can't get a phone call or text at every hour of the day. Some how I managed and probably most of you managed to grow into adulthood without a cell phone glued to our ear or now fingertips. I feel sorry in a way for this next generation of teens, they have everything so young, their own computers, cell phones, TV's etc, it's like their right they expect it and parents pay for it. Jobs are much harder to get now than 10-20 years ago, as they approach 18 and older how are they going to get jobs that will pay for everything they have grown accustomed to having.

Eddie it is a shame you and your wife are not on the same page, and I bet you stepdaughter knows it and plays it for all it's worth. My sister and her husband were separated and their 12 year old grew very spoiled getting what she wanted from both parents. When they started talking about getting back together, my mom said something to my niece like I bet you are happy and she said NO, I like it better having two home, plus I get more stuff this way.
 
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