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I am in pretty upset mood and needed some opinions because I want to make sure I am not overreacting.

My daughter is 4 years old. My daughters grandmother though it would be cute to get her a TV/VCR for her bedroom for Christmas so she could watch her movies. Which I Vehemently protested to no avail.

Now today I was told by my daughet very excitedly that "Daddy, I have cable TV in my room now". Tried to talk to her mother, nothing coming. I asked her to at least BLOCK out all the channels exept child appropriate ones, she laughed.

I just know that the violence on todays TV and things they show on MTV and other programs are not suitable for children imo. Especially a 4 year old girl. Her mother is so lazy and hates to be bothered with her, that is why she loves to shut her in her room and ignore her, but this is a different issue.

If there is TV time to be had I think it should be with the family, or at least with an Adults control.

Please need some input on this, her family is against me on this, though my family is with me. So there is some biasm here.

Need some Parents opinions please.
 

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I absolutely do not believe in children being raised by television. I think their hours should be limited and gradually increased as they get older and when they are younger it should be supervised. Four years old is too young to watch TV for more than half an hour to an hour a day let alone having it unsupervised.

video games are another story for me though
Obviously the blood and gore should not be allowed at young ages but I really think that adventure/puzzle games help them learn and teach them about life (main lesson being life is NOT fair, lol)
 

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FullThrottle - posting as Pyrate - I'm against TV in the kids room at any age - well, unless they are over 18 and still living at home. We have two large tv's in the house, if they want to watch something or play something - they might as well do it in the open where I can see/monitor what it is they are doing.

Pyrate will argue with me on this one - our 5 year old wants her own tv, and right now she has the boat tv/vcr in her room. Her 8 year old brother wants a computer in his room. Don't think so for either one - the extra computer can go in the den where they play on our computer anyhow.

anyhow just my .02
 

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O.k. here's a silly question... Is her mother really that irrasponsible that she hasn't already bolcked out " explisit" channels ? It sounds like you and your childs mother have very diffrent ideas on whats acceptable and whats not. I'm not sure what the situation is nor do I need to know... But if you guys don't sit down and talk calmly about your ideas it's gonna lead to your daughter playing nasty games with you and her mother later on in life. Example: If Dad won't give it to me, I'll get Mom to. It sounds like you got more to worry about than what she watches on T.V..
Hope I didn't go to deep.
 

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My girls have the old 13 in. boat tv in their room....I did a direct connect to the cable so they don't get the premium channels (you need the cable box to see HBO and etc.)....my little one watches Animal Planet, cartoons or Disney.

If I feel it's been on too long I turn it off....if they turn it back on....I disconnect the cable line
 

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Neither my 3 1/2 nor my 10 year old has a tv in his room. I have one tv in my living room and that's it... no cable on that either. They can play video games or watch movies if they want but I prefer they find other things to do.
 

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QUOTE(Tango 7 @ Mar 1 2004, 08:48 PM)My two year old has a 20' tv with direct tv and tivo.

That's what I would do!


But I'm not a father
 
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We have a 10 yr old boy and 7 yr old girl and no tv in either of their rooms. If my son had one, I'd probably never see him, where my daughter is less addicted to it. For the most part he reads in his room but if given the choice, he'd be watching TV. We have a tv in our room that the kids will watch on the weekend mornings and they stick to the kid shows- Disney, Fox kids, Nick. We do restrict what they watch for different reasons and the kids are pretty responsible with what they watch. We try to keep them off Rugrats because we can't stand the baby talk and shows like Power Rangers and powerpuff girls for the violence. Now if I can only get them off the Yu-Gi-Oh type shows we'd be all set. Call me the evil parent, but I don't see any value in the whole "I summon my minions to fight your minions to the death" themes of these shows. Anyway, they usually have the sound up so we know what they're watching and if not, I'll pop in quietly and check up on them.

Back to your question, I don't think a 4 year old needs a tv in their room. But if they did, I'd probably want cable on it because of the variety of kids programming they have now.
 

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QUOTE(Tango 7 @ Mar 1 2004, 06:49 PM)oh yeah, We dont let her sit there and zone. We control what and when she watches it
We also have parental controls on all of the televisions in the house. It even blocks out Yu-gi-oh and Powerpuff girls (THANK GOD!) Niether our 11 year old or our 2 year old watch much television to begin with but when they do it's nice to know that they can only watch things that we approve of wether we are in the room or not.
 

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Could complete unrestricted TV viewing be bad for a kid? Sure. It could be bad for an adult, too, but by then we're all responsible for ourselves.

Does that mean a kid shouldn't have a TV in their own room? No, it just means the parents need to satisfy themselves that they are restricting usage and content.

Do you have serious issues with your daughter's mother? Yep. And that won't change unless you both work on it. I hope you can for your child's sake. This issue is nothing compared to what you'll face in 8 years or so.

I chose poorly when I fell for my first wife, the mother of my children. When we broke up, I probably should have fought to get custody of my kids. But realistically that probably wouldn't have happened. So I supported them and picked them up every two weeks for our "Uncle Dad" program, and I did the best I could to influence them in ways I thought they should be influenced. But I had to watch while they spent 12 days soaking up behavior that I didn't like to every 2 days they were with me. There is nothing you can do about that.

Love your daughter and be understanding. Spend all the time with her you can. Don't pick her up only to drop her off with a babysitter so you can go on a date on weekends when you have her. Don't switch vistitation around to accomodate this & that, making her feel she's the least important thing in your life.

And don't cause discord between your ex-whatever's family and yours. You aren't doing your daughter any favors by making trouble and creating or continuing hard feelings between her relatives on both sides. You and her mom evidently don't live together - what her mom chooses to do is none of your business. You made it that way when you decided not to raie her as a team. Now you can do what you want and she can do what she wants, and you have to accept that.
 

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I agree, I would not want my 4 yr. old to have her own TV.
I am also going to pick up flowers for my wife tonight simply because we agree on how to raise our children.

That is a tough situation you are in, I hope your daughter's mother will respect your opinions.

good luck
 

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QUOTE(boatmonkey @ Mar 2 2004, 08:49 AM)Love your daughter and be understanding. Spend all the time with her you can. Don't pick her up only to drop her off with a babysitter so you can go on a date on weekends when you have her. Don't switch vistitation around to accomodate this & that, making her feel she's the least important thing in your life.

And don't cause discord between your ex-whatever's family and yours. You aren't doing your daughter any favors by making trouble and creating or continuing hard feelings between her relatives on both sides. You and her mom evidently don't live together - what her mom chooses to do is none of your business. You made it that way when you decided not to raie her as a team. Now you can do what you want and she can do what she wants, and you have to accept that.
I agree with you for the most part, Your time with your children when you have them is not your time its thiers.

Unfortunately you can only hope that the mother will sit and talk with you about your concerns. It took a few years for my ex and I to get along about anything. Once he realized we needed to stop fighting for the sake of our daughter and that there was a someting bigger than Us.

My daughter now, has not one but 3 parents who attend every school function together, parent teacher conferences, band concerts, dance recitals, birthdays...she knows that we all love her and make decisions together as her parents.
I involve him in every aspect of her life...he didn't give up the right to be her parent. We just gave up our lives together.

Sadly this is not the case for most seperated/divorced children. They grow up being pulled in many directions and get confused on which morals and beliefs to follow.

Sit down with your kids every chance you can...involve your ex in some of the things you do with them. Children need to see that they aren't just a possesion for their parents to fight over. Not to mention it will help teach them about relationships.

Maybe your ex (not saying I know them or anything) is monitoring what your child is watching and the fact that you questioned it may have offended her. (My ex used to do that a lot.) Maybe there is different approach you can try?

Again I don't know your exact situation and sometimes it is impossible to do any of the things I have said. Just my .02
 

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I have Tv`s in just about every room in the house ..........Except the kids rooms.....

There is a tv in the toy room but that is not hooked up to cable...It does have video

games hooked up to it..... TV`s are not babysittters.....People that use them as such

should be ashamed......
 

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QUOTE(RED HOT ONE @ Mar 2 2004, 09:46 AM)TV`s are not babysittters.....People that use them as such

should be ashamed......
OK...now my .02cents worth....

Not ashamed here at all!!!...if TV will entertain your child for 30 mins so you can...clean house...cook dinner..etc...then I say MORE POWER TO TV.


I remember when my oldest was in a walker...used to put her infront of the TV and turn on MTV...she loved the flashing lights, just turned the volume way down. It was cute to see her bounce up and down.

My kids are teenagers now with 27in TVs...cable(not prem channels though)...DVD...VCR...Xbox...P2...stereo with surround sound. Its not that I have spoiled them, but they "earned" these things with honesty and respect....and these are the first things they will loose if they mess up.

And yes I have a very open and honest relationship with my kids...they share everything...yes I do mean "everything" with us as parents...right or wrong...even down to my oldest who is now 18 1/2 yr and got her nipples pierced!
 

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My daughter has a TV and VCR in her room, no cable yet.

She watches a fair amount of tv, but mostly educational stuff. She learned like 10 spanish words watching Dora.

I think it is all in what you let your kids watch.
 

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I have no kids, but I know plenty that do. The tv can be a good baby sitter for small children for a short time when you need to cook, clean the house, etc. Watching baby einstein and shows like that are educational. I have fond memories of watching captain kangaroo and sesame street when I was little.
As for the situation, my recommendation would be to talk to your x wife and offer to set up the parental controls on the tv in your daughters room. A win win situation, she is lazy and doesn't have to do anything and you get the controls that you want.
 

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Studies have shown kids without TV in their bedrooms are better students, when I wired the house I didn't even put in cable jacks so there would be no question of whether they can have TV in the bedrooms or not.
 

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QUOTE(MsCin @ Mar 2 2004, 10:40 AM)QUOTE(RED HOT ONE @ Mar 2 2004, 09:46 AM) TV`s are not babysittters.....People that use them as such

should be ashamed......
OK...now my .02cents worth....

Not ashamed here at all!!!...if TV will entertain your child for 30 mins so you can...clean house...cook dinner..etc...then I say MORE POWER TO TV.


I remember when my oldest was in a walker...used to put her infront of the TV and turn on MTV...she loved the flashing lights, just turned the volume way down. It was cute to see her bounce up and down.


I agree with that !!!!!! I was talking about the parents that let their kids watch TV

from the time they get home until bed time.......Tell me how that is quality time...
 
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