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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If a woman remarries.....and wants to keep the name of her ex-husband should that bother the new husband?
I would rather the woman take her madian name than take the ex-husband.....Is that wrong to feel that way? Guys....how would you feel about that? Girls how do you feel about that? Is there the exclusivness of marriage if the wife has her ex's name?
 

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Not a fan of that at all. Threw it out at my work and everyone gave me a what? Why the hell would you want to do that. So my vote is.....no way. If you want to keep his name you should of stayed married to him.
 

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I totally agree that she should NOT keep the ex's name...however if there were kids involved and they have the ex's name, its much easier on the kids. But then these days its not uncommon for kids to have different last names than their parents.
 

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QUOTE(rerun @ Aug 11 2003, 12:20 PM)Not a fan of that at all. Threw it out at my work and everyone gave me a what? Why the hell would you want to do that. So my vote is.....no way. If you want to keep his name you should of stayed married to him.
bingo. i agree.
 

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I decided to keep my married name for business reasons and because of my kids-
BUT if I was to re-marry I will take the name of my new husband.

so NO I do not feel its appropriate
 

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That's just weird; children or no children it's disrespectful of your present situation and the person you are dedicating yourself to.

ixnay.
 

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What if it depends on which one is easier to spell and sign.


My wife went from Crandall to Myszynski.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks guys......I have been getting the "Whats the big deal?" and wondering if I was looking at it the wrong way. She does have a child from her first husband but we also have one between us. I agree with keeping it for business reasons but everywhere else it feel like i'm still on a boyfriend basis and not married.
 

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I can see keeping it for business reasons....and children. If that is not the reason you need to find out why she prefers her ex's name. I'm wondering now myself <_< .

Is your last name a mile long and hard to pronounce, Paul???
 

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Hazy here,
In this society, basically anything goes, but I feel that married people should have the same name, notice I did not say she should take his name -- that's a matter of choice, but I feel both parties should have the same name. MY wife will take my name though because I have a cool name.
 

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Just from another point of view. You have children , they have your last name. You and your wife have a child together, he has your last name. Her child from previous marriage has a different last name. If your wife takes your last name, her child is going to be the only one NOT with your last name. I can see her point. Kids have a hard enough time ...feeling like an outcast or different..
that is a hard one to live with.
Just a thought from the childs point of view.

I had thought about keeping my former married name, just till the kids were grown & out of school. Found out really fast, it does complicate things like insurance.
 

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Wow, tough crowd. I think the couple should decide what works for themselves. Marriage is a series of compromises.

The name she has now is HER name. Sure, she took the name of her husband at the time, but now the name is hers. She is known by it. Her child has the same name.

I can understand why she wouldn't want to change her name. I've been happily married to the same person for 14 1/2 years. I never changed my name from my given name. It's not a women's lib thing (although I am a feminist), I chose not to change a name I was given by my parents at birth. My name is my identity; it's who I am as a person. I love and respect my husband. I will wear the ring he gave me and introduce him immediately to people I meet. We have several things in common, including two beautiful children but we don't have the same last name.

Our children have his last name and they know I have a different name. They don't have a problem with it. To my kids' friends and classmates, I'm known as Mrs. Theirlastname. Sometimes my kids correct their friends, sometimes they don't.

Fortunately for me, Bill is and was understanding enough to see me for who I am. I hope Paul and his fiancee' can do what they think is best for them.
 

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QUOTE(JABBERJAWZ @ Aug 11 2003, 12:36 PM)I would be a little disturbed if my soon to be wife wouldn't take my name. Would make me wonder a little bit.
Especially since "Bremerkamps Rock"!!!!
 

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QUOTE(MsCin @ Aug 11 2003, 11:22 AM)... if there were kids involved and they have the ex's name, its much easier on the kids. But then these days its not uncommon for kids to have different last names than their parents.
I personally don't care if ex's keep same last name. Many times ex's don't want much to do with former spouse, let alone keep their name. My ex had our kids names changed to match her maiden name, and Geez, I wish now that I wouldn't have agreed to that.
 

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QUOTE(BoatChic @ Aug 11 2003, 01:46 PM)QUOTE(JABBERJAWZ @ Aug 11 2003, 12:36 PM) I would be a little disturbed if my soon to be wife wouldn't take my name. Would make me wonder a little bit.
Especially since "Bremerkamps Rock"!!!!
You just wish you had a yellow shirt!
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Before we got married she said she was going to change her name but that was a half a year ago. Ms Sunbum has a good point about the child.........I don't know <_<
 

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QUOTE(Paul @ Aug 11 2003, 02:25 PM)Before we got married she said she was going to change her name but that was a half a year ago. Ms Sunbum has a good point about the child.........I don't know

Paul, your baby is 9 months?? Your wife has hormones amuck's still, probally....If you want to live, I'd drop it!
Just joking!

Really, it's up to the two of you. If you are truly bothered, tell her in a nice, calm fashion your reason. Best to you.
 
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