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6,349 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am a person who likes the connection to the past.

consider it a part of who I am now, appreciate it for existing, occassionally wonder how random people that I used to be very close to are doing these days...

I don't feel emotional ties to any of these people, both friends and ex's, and know some of us share the same city, experiences at times and that the roots that formed us are still out there...

But isn't it weird that there is no connection AVAILABLE to those people? I have an old friend that I try to connect with once a year or so and have realized through one or two disconnected, very lenghty in between reply times, that the option just isn't there and finally have just admitted to myself that I will no longer attempt to get in touch with him. And though it is quite sad in some way that such an important piece of my puzzle is forever going to be gone, I still feel GOOD having known him. Grateful, actually.

So.... my point is it ever twilight zone ish to you that you have people close by that used to be so crucial to you, that will never be part of your life again.... even in the most remote of senses?

(goose is not to reply to this thread!)

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946 Posts
You know Goose will reply with some stupid comment!

Anyhoo, I have many friends that I have not talked to in a long time, its very sad, but at the same time when i do see them its like we see each other often. I wish I could stay in contact with everyone I once knew but I know thats impossible. Just be happy you knew them and that you will always remember them even if you dont see each other.

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4,657 Posts
I wonder about everyone and everything from my past. I think about people and things from my past and some I have fond memories of and some not so much.

I do think it's a bit bizaar that all of who I am at the moment is partially from that girl in JrHigh that I tried so hard to "go out" with and she wouldn't ever consider it or Veronica Holt as discussed in a previous thread. (the polkadot girl).

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102 Posts
I was real close with 3 other girls from highschool until I turned 21 when they stopped calling and returning phone calls. Every now and then I try and get in touch, but no luck. So I am just hanging on to the memories, and like Pauligan said, they are a part of who I am and thats what I'll hang on to. Even though it sucks and I miss them tons, I'm just leaving them alone and moving on!

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8,195 Posts
yeah, it is wierd. like, you counted on and hung out with and shared so much with certin people, and then BAM! no longer a part of your life.

sometimes it's awkward when you run into them again, like: "OMIGOD! HI!" *hugs*
"HI! how are YOU?!!" *hugs*
"good! what on earth have you been up to?!?!"
*go back and forth about basic life happenings*
"yeah, i know!"
*awkward pause*
do you ask for new phone #? for new email so you can contiue keeping in touch? it's wierd. bittersweet, even.

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13,639 Posts
I found that the people that I grew up with are on my mind...
You wonder what their doing or even if their alive?
You run across them and touch base and then their gone again from your life..
Marriage and family change your priorities and life goes on...
But I could never figure out why you were so close and now nothing....

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1,248 Posts
I know that this is kind of different, but after Mike and I got engaged, I feel I was written off by a lot of my 'single' friends. Has this happened to anyone else?

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1,384 Posts
hmmm.. good topic.
I dont feel like people have necessarily "written me off".. but i do wonder why all of a sudden months/years pass and you realize someone you used to talk to and hang with is totally gone from your daily life.
I try to hold on to my friends.. i will give as much as possible to a friendship- but if i get nothing in return, i will quit trying... At least if it ends for some reason or another... i know i tried.
I would love to talk to some old friends from highschool~ i have remained in contact with a few... but like the topic is touching on.... why do we loose complete contact with some of them? How can you do something one day and all of a sudden never seem to see/talk to them again.

The past, I guess, makes you what you are today.... everyone comes into your life for a reason.. just not sure why they leave (for the exception of old boyfriends/girlfriends)

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8,195 Posts
"a reason, a season, or a lifetime."

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2,161 Posts
People come into, and go out of your life all the time. Different peoples lives intersect all the time, even if for a short period of time. I fondly remember lots of friends that I haven't seen in 20 years or so. It's natural. Your life flows it's own course, and so does theirs. You change and so do they. And when if I happen to see them again, well, it's just like we left off and have alot of catching up to do. Some of my friendships have even been rekindled, so to speak, and that's when you know that you have a true friend.

Heck, since leaving NH, in some instances I'm a better friend because of the distance, knowing that we don't live in close proximity of that person other anymore.

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4,512 Posts
I never have and never will talk to my X's. They are the past they can stay in the past thre is no need for them what so ever. As far as friens goes that is a different issue. I hate to be nosy and you don't have to respond but this sounds like a booty call issue and it's your call. Everyone's need and wants are different jusr remember the consequences or think about the future and what it might lead to. Do you want to go thre?

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23,830 Posts
QUOTE(hammer @ Jun 16 2004, 09:10 PM)Stazi got married??

Oh man! Even I wouldn't have gone there.

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630 Posts
i've lost touch with a person who moved out of state. i visited her in Fl a couple of times, but now i cannot find her. i'm bummed! she was a great friend!

in the last 1 1/2 years two old friends contacted me via email.

one was a boyfriend i dated for a couple of years when i was 20 and 21. since he wrote to me a year ago, we've seen each other a couple of times. it's a great feeling knowing that someone realized what a mistake it was not having me in their life! ha ha ha

the other was a neighboor that i grew up with. my HS printed a book that listed all past graduates with info such as where they are, what they're doing today, and email addresses.

what a shock it was to hear from him! his parents were abusive and our family took him in many of times during the winter. he was sorta like the bro i never had. anyway, he's still not talking to his parents. i should say, he still doesn't talk to his dad and his wicked step mother, but neither does his brother.

it's great to get ahold of people from the past.

my reunion is coming up. didn't have fun at the 5 or 10 year. doubt if i'll go to the 20 year. OH MY GOD, 20 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!! i was graduating when my parent's went to their 20 year reunion!

ya know, that brings up something else. a guy recently wrote to me through classmates. nothing came about it. i wrote back, but he never responded.

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3,993 Posts
Its nice to have and keep old friends but people get busy , and time goes so fast it seems and b 4 you know it is been a month or 2 or more since you have seen them..
I do the phone call hi how are you or e mail just to say hi, after a while though if you're the one always having to call the other person you get tired of it, and give up...
Then out of the blue I have had people call me and say hey why haven't you called me in a while? My answer is umm I think the phone works from your end too when you dial it... The school reunions? naww not interested, not if I have to pay 70.00 a person to go anyways, which is money better spent on boating and seeing people I enjoy talking to now rather then trying to make conversation with someone I haven't seen in 20 years... And probably wouldn't again until the next reunion...

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476 Posts
People come in and out of our lifes for one reason or another. But what is left in our heart and minds will last forever.
There are always lessons for us to learn from our friendships, whether we are the ones that are ment to have learned the lessons or not.
I just hope that LSCN is around in my life for sometime to come.

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476 Posts
After reading this thread and posting I recieved this e-mail from a very, very old friend. It brought tears to my eyes. Thought I would share....

Thanks For Your Time !

A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls,
career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across
the country in pursuit of his dreams.

There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about
the past and often no time to spend with those important to him. He was
working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The
funeral is Wednesday."

Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly
remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of
him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were
doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over "his side of the
fence" as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure
you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who! taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this
business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things
he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his
hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children
of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see
the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing
over into another dimension, a leap through space and time.

The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every
picture, every piece of furniture ... Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said.

"What box? " Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must
have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was
the thing I value most." Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it,
except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get
some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work
one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a
package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the
next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and
looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was
difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr.
Harold Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open
the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands
shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett.
It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the
letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully
unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.
Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the
cover. Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time!
-Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most ... was ... my time."

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared
his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.
"I need some time to spend with my son," he said. "Oh, by the way,
Janet...thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments
that take our breath away,"

Send this letter to all the people you care about, if you do so, you will
certainly brighten someone's day and might change their perspective on
life, ........... for the better.

To everyone I send this to, "Thanks for your time ! "
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