In case you doubt the awesomeness of the Denon cable, thinking that it's just an Ethernet cable and all it transfers is 1's and 0's, just like any other digital signal, check out this testimonial!
QUOTELook, I'm just your average working Joe, y'know? Sure, sure, I've got the Grand Moff title these days - in fact, ever since Emperor Palpatine took over, a lot of Imperial military careers have been on the uptick - but at the end of the day, I take orders just like anybody else. In my case, I take them from this creepy old guy in a robe who looks ugly and harmless but can shoot blue lightning from his hands at you if you make him mad.
So let me tell you about how the Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable totally saved my bacon. I was commanding a moon-sized space station called the Death Star, and while we let people believe that it wasn't quite ready, the boss man was insisting that I get it fully operational in time for some "ceremony". There was NO way that I could have gotten this thing's secret weapon - a really, really cool green superlaser that can totally blow up planets - to work without the Denon cable. We just didn't have any technology that could send the pure digital power required to make a bunch of smaller laser beams converge in a cone shape into one giant beam. Luckily, Amazon delivered ours just in the nick of time.
Just minutes after installing the cable, my boss' enforcer, a seven-foot, mouth-breathing, half-man-half machine named Darth Vader, shows up at my office with two stormtroopers and a rebel princess with a weird haircut and some strategically placed electrical tape on under her robe. I'd recently signed an order terminating her life. This lady immediately starts in on me - telling me I'm holding Vader's leash, that I've got a foul stench - all kinds of stuff. As luck would have it, the station was orbiting Princess Mouthy's home planet of Alderaan, and after some back-and-forth about the location of rebel bases (she eventually named Dantooine, wherever that is), I made the call to blow up Alderaan anyway, just to be a jerk. A few pulled levers and some laser magic later, and poof! No more home planet for Princess Talks Too Much.
I tried to order another one to use on an unshielded thermal exhaust port in the Death Star. It suffers from the adverse effects from vibration as well as jitter and ripple. The combination of fluoropolymer material and superior heat resistance, weather resistance, and anti-aging properties is just what we need to solve the station's sole weakness. Unfortunately, Emperor Cheapskate negged the purchase, saying one $500 cable is enough. Too bad, because if anyone ever flew a bunch of X-wings through that port, we'd be in big trouble. But hey, what are the chances of that?
