The Wrath of Grapes...

Mr. Vines,

It has been made to our attention that you have chosen to take your health a little more seriously, and we love to see it. More than just quitting smoking, you have chosen to strap on your new flourescent yellow bicycle shorts and hit the one wheel wonder we call the exer-bike.

Yes my friend, this is going to be arduous journey. Filled with sacrifice and i'm pretty sure, embarassment as well. But just keep in mind, as you are getting your fuzzy a$$ spanked by some 60 year old nanas in your new aqua-aerobics class, you can't win the game if you don't play.

I chose your favorite color to atract your attention, for this may be the best info I can pass on to you buddy. Maybe the next best thing? This:

Keep a record. Where you were the day you joined the gym... and I don't mean Madam Cho's House of Flapjacks looking for a serious happy ending. I mean height, weight, waist size, chest size, arms, shoulders, and most importantly, get to your sports med school and get your body fat measured. Get yourself a regimen, and try to stick to it. If you're going to do tuesday thursday, get ir dun. Manday, wednesday, friday workouts yield incredible results. A tragic mistake most people encounter is that they don't understand the way your body builds muscle and kills fat cells. It's not just the workout, but how you rest your body during your workout. In between sets, AND in between workouts. So one day on and a day off is usually the best way to ensure a healthy workout for your body.

Don't neglect your anaerobic workout either. A good half hour cardio, and 1 hour to 1.5 hours worth of weights will give you way better results than just 2 hours of weight work or 2 hours of cardio. Not trying to step on your toes, just trying to help you see em! Just kiddin brotha.

Now, if you wanna use this good luck message as your way to keep track of your prgress, i'd say that would be perty cool, and more rewarding than you'd think. Before you know it, you'll be a chiseled piece of Laura-pleasin man meat. Or just healthy, which is goal number one. Plus, if you do all this, you don't have to give up drinking and burgers dummy! That's the point! I work out so I can eat like sh*t and party. Otherwise i'd be smaller than Eddie.

So there it is then big guy. I wish you luck now that you finally got your gym/rec center/library/hair, nail and tire center membership. I'm sure you'll do us proud!