Lake St. Clair Fishing Forum banner
1 - 20 of 27 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,003 Posts
What is REALLY appropriate when on a date? Up until the last year or so I've been a staunch "dutch" type of date (and very typically the first meal I would just buy for both of us)... never used to feel comfortable even having a drink bought for me. But I've been learning that some men truly do take offense to that. And I've been getting more used to the "traditional" way of dating... but occassionally have that guilty feeling when something is purchased, etc. But, by the same token, it IS kind of... sweet? nice? to let go of the need for control and let somebody treat... but then I always wonder later if I should have just paid my way. Because there are OTHER men who like not having to foot for everything.

What do you all think?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
34,129 Posts
If the guy asks YOU out, he pays for everything.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
612 Posts
Let the guy pay. Its an ego thing. Even if you're not going to put out. At least he was seen in public with a pretty girl! Thats worth the price of dinner and drinks.
Just the opinion of an older guy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,406 Posts
Let the guy pay for the 1st date... After that, it might not be a bad idea to reciprocate, or to offer dutch... But if the guy wants to pay, I'd let him...
(Of course the last time I went on a "date" I had to scrape change from my couch to get a bottle of Boone's farm... Sometimes I miss college!
)
 

·
LSCN Sponsor
Joined
·
4,403 Posts
I just got in trouble for this

I pay for everything~
I never complain~
I think that is the way it should be~
It is nice when I'm treated~

The question is.... who pays for vacations?

(Asked by one of Kats friends)
My anwser was " I'm just happy that she can take the time off work and not be short at the end of the month" When I type it now it sounds bad. My thoughts were drifting back to a time when I had asked someone to go on a vacation and couldn't AFFORD the time off work.
 

·
Vendor
Joined
·
14,664 Posts
I have never in my life had a girl pay for anything for me. It's just not in my program... After marriage, I still feel bad if my wife reaches into her purse to come up with money if I have forgotten to stop at the bank.. However, she is still spending the money that I make but what's mine is hers and what hers is hers or something like that...
Ms. P, enjoy the fact that a guy wants to take you out and wine and dine you. That's how it should be.
My son is 18 1/2 and he always pays for his girlfriend and he doesn't have a pot to pee in..
Just my .02 cents worth... ;>)
 

·
LSCN Sponsor
Joined
·
6,427 Posts
QUOTE(Taxman @ Jun 28 2004, 09:51 AM)I pay for everything~
I never complain~
I think that is the way it should be~
It is nice when I'm treated~
This has always been my way as well, old fashioned but USUALLY appreciated/reciprocated as only a woman can.

It's when the appreciation/reciprocation goes bye-bye & you are just EXPECTED to pay that the attitude takes an abrupt change!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,832 Posts
Being older and way back when long long time ago , when i was dating i allways paid.. You could offer though or ask if you could help with the tab or get the tip even.
Most times though id think guys will allways say no thanks i have it..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,043 Posts
QUOTE(INSTIGATOR @ Jun 28 2004, 10:16 AM)old fashioned but USUALLY appreciated/reciprocated as only a woman can.

It's when the appreciation/reciprocation goes bye-bye & you are just EXPECTED to pay that the attitude takes an abrupt change!
lol
totally can hear your voice when I read this!

AS ONLY A WOMAN CAN!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,011 Posts
QUOTE(INSTIGATOR @ Jun 28 2004, 11:16 AM)QUOTE(Taxman @ Jun 28 2004, 09:51 AM) I pay for everything~
I never complain~
I think that is the way it should be~
It is nice when I'm treated~
This has always been my way as well, old fashioned but USUALLY appreciated/reciprocated as only a woman can.

It's when the appreciation/reciprocation goes bye-bye & you are just EXPECTED to pay that the attitude takes an abrupt change!
me three
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
34 Posts
QUOTE(pauligan @ Jun 28 2004, 08:31 AM)What is REALLY appropriate when on a date? Up until the last year or so I've been a staunch "dutch" type of date (and very typically the first meal I would just buy for both of us)... never used to feel comfortable even having a drink bought for me. But I've been learning that some men truly do take offense to that. And I've been getting more used to the "traditional" way of dating... but occassionally have that guilty feeling when something is purchased, etc. But, by the same token, it IS kind of... sweet? nice? to let go of the need for control and let somebody treat... but then I always wonder later if I should have just paid my way. Because there are OTHER men who like not having to foot for everything.

What do you all think?
First Date Etiquette

Gentlemen, it's been a long time since we've met in our little class here. I hope all of you are finding the few lessons we've had helpful. Today we are going to tackle the all-important first date. We are of course assuming that you have been able to find someone willing to go out on a date with you or at least someone that you could fool into thinking that you are worthy for a chance…isn't that right Ted…Ted? Has anyone seen Ted? That boy needs more help than Gary Coleman does getting a paying gig. Well we'll just have to start without him.
Okay there are a few important things that we must cover to help you on your way to becoming a successful first dater in order to get you to the ultimate prize. Does anyone know what that is? No, Frank it's not getting laid. While that is ultimately every man's goal it's not what you should expect out of your first date. Anyone? Anyone? It's a second date, you halfwits. If you can make it through the horrifying ordeal that is the first date and you actually get a chance to see this girl again, then you can consider yourself successful. The getting laid part comes later. You should not treat the first date as a chance to get this girl into bed that night. 93% of the time this isn't going to happen, unless of course you are on the show Blind Date. So try to keep your mind out of the gutter on your first meeting.

So? What should we do to prepare for a first date? First, assuming you've got the cahones to ask a girl out, you'll need to pick an activity for the outing. Creativity is a good thing when it comes to a date. If you have access to tickets to a show or event…not wrestling, that would be a good idea. But don't think the old standby of dinner or a drink is cliché; it's usually your best bet. It gives you a chance to really talk and get to know the other person. A movie, while entertaining is not the best juncture for sparking conversation. And if the movie sucks you're going to feel stupid.

Prepping for the date is also quite important. Make sure you have dressed appropriately and not like some idiot out of the rock era. Let's throw out those acid wash jeans and try something from this decade, hmm? I shouldn't have to be telling you guys this, but after the stories I've heard about Craig, try to have a shower people…please hunh?

Okay this is quite obvious stuff but make sure you pick up cash for the date. You don't want to be stuck with the bill and no cash. Pick this up before you pick her up. Call me crazy but I'm a firm believer in the person who did the inviting should also do the paying. That is just common sense. You might ask should I bring flowers? Well not a bad question but not always the most practical thing to do. If you're all ready to go and then you pick her up carrying a bunch of flowers it might make for an awkward situation. Now I know that girls are probably thinking 'Awkward, are you crazy? I love the flowers' but what is she going to do with them? She could bring them with her…too much of a pain. Throw them on her kitchen counter? Too insensitive. Take them in cut them down and arrange them perfectly in a vase? Okay, so now we're totally late. I think buying flowers for a girl is a great idea; the first date just may not be the best time. Not to mention if you totally blow it and never see her again, you're out like 20 bucks…on top of dinner.

Alright, so you've picked a place, you've got money, you're somewhat presentable, and we're going to assume that the girl hasn't come to her senses and called the whole thing off. Now you're ready for show time. Unfortunately we've run out of time this week and we'll have to continue with our date next week.

Don't forget to read chapters 6 and 7 in your text, "I'm not an idiot, I'm just a guy" for homework! And someone make sure Ted is in class next week, he needs to know this stuff.

To be continued…
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
34 Posts
Continued!!!

Okay, last post we started covering the way to go about getting ready for your first date with whomever it is that you conned into going out with you. Let's see where were we? Ahhh, yes. You were just about ready to go out and pick up the lucky lady. Okay, since we've already taken attendance, good to see you here Ted, we can get right to it.
Now assuming you have a car you should pick up your date for the uh…date. After your standard greeting and telling her she looks great, you should always do that…but don't compliment too much it makes you look needy. The big question is do you open the car door for her or not? I may be old fashioned but I think it's a good idea to at least act like a gentleman, you don't have to pull out her seat for dinner but holding the door for her is always a nice touch. Besides, it's her first impression of you do you really want her to know that you're just a belching chauvinist before you start a relationship? She'll figure that out soon enough after the second date.
Speaking of the second date, like I said in our last class that is the ultimate goal of the first date. So what can you do to impress your newfound chicky-poo? Forget flashing the expensive car and the fat wallet, sure these things don't hurt…women seem to like the money (it says something about your ability to be successful and confident) ultimately it's going to be your personality that wins it in the end. At least that is what us geeks tell ourselves. Number one thing, be yourself. Don't try to be some other schmuck that you think she's going to like, she went out with you so she would probably like to spend the time with you.

This brings us to conversation. I'm not going to tell you what you should talk about with this girl…she's your date I'm going to assume you know her…at least a bit. However I would like to extend a cautionary note towards things you might not want to say. First off, don't talk about yourself all night…you aren't that interesting. I know it's an old cliché but find out about her. Okay here are a few things that you should already know not to say but I'm going to assume that because you are here you might be a bit fuzzy on them.

Don't use cheesy pick up lines during the date to compliment her. You already have her out on the date…you can stop now. It just makes her feel icky and you look dumb.
Don't make any references to your penis. Unless she asks she doesn't want to hear that you named it Gumby or that you have a boner cause you're so excited to be on the date with her…that really isn't a compliment, it's bordering on assault…creep.
Don't make talk about other women you've dated…in fact don't even talk about other girls unless it's family and even then keep it brief.
Don't make sexual comment about how they drink from a bottle or open their mouth to eat a sandwich
Don't stare at her chest the whole time…I know it's not a conversation thing, but if you continue it the conversation will end quick and you'll never get to see them outside of that outfit.
Don't bother asking her to come back to your place if you have done any of the above

A good rule of thumb to follow when dating is to end the date before too long. If you hang out with her until she can't stand the sight of you, you ain't getting another round. I would suggest taking her home after you have completed the original plans of the date. If you went out for dinner, take your time and enjoy your dinner, but once the dinner is over bring her home. It's like the stage saying 'always leave them wanting more'. Now Ted, this refers to the date, not sex. Now, if she invites you in for a drink, this is a good sign. Sure, go in. Enjoy the drink and conversation but know when to leave.

Assuming you don't get invited in this is the part of the date that can be the hardest for some people. The kiss good night. This is never an easy thing, I'm not going to pretend it is, but if you act with confidence it should work out okay. Just think of it as customary and that you must do it to end the date. Try it right after the "I had a great time tonight" and before she walks in her door. The best thing to do at the end of a date is to walk her up to her door. This give a good opportunity for a kiss and it looks good. C'mon people it's not that hard, they do it movies all the time. Jim, why are you writing so much? …and why are you using crayon?

Oh jeez, I almost forgot. You need to set up future plans during the first date. It's a good gauge of how you did by the response you get to this inquiry. If she laughs in your face and walks away…don't wait for her call. Try a simple, 'can I call you again?' Who knows you might actually hit it off. Okay guys, that's all the time we have for this week. Good luck and don't forget to relax and be yourself.

P.Gunzzzzzzzz
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
34,129 Posts
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,681 Posts
QUOTE(pauligan @ Jun 28 2004, 09:31 AM)IS kind of... sweet? nice? to let go of the need for control and let somebody treat
i chose not to read what anyone else may have posted in order to not taint my own answer & skipped right to 'REPLY'. yes, sometimes chicks that usually like control DO need to put aside that 'dutch' mentality so that not only YOU as a chick, can have a good time but the guy can say 'HEY! i took out this COOL CHICK!' sometimes my need to 'be the one in control' gets in the way <_<
but i accept that, and so do the gentlemen in question. if not, so be it. but yes, it IS an A-O-K thing to let a nice guy take you out and treat you like the good girl you really are (sometimes with society's ideals it's hard to remember HOW you're supposed to be). movies, books or magazine articles aside... it's true: you rock, singleton!


pauligan, you rock no matter what! especially with that white playboy bikini!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,681 Posts
and after reading the reply from the gentlemen on this fine site i have to say:
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS DATING!?!!!??/
you are a fine bunch of guys!
really, no sarcasm!
pauligan, if you did not learn anything from these terrific, one-of-a-kind men, then i don't know what to say.
you guys rock and make me feel good about being a girl and that it's OK to say 'ok! take ME out!
"

xoxoxoxo to the above men (not meaning you're on top, tho
) --ck

ps--GO, PAULIGAN GO!!!!!!!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,239 Posts
NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER!!!!!

There are numerous things you can do for a guy without paying, like make him dinner at your house, bake him cookies, etc.

I don't think I paid one time in the 1st year Ed and I dated. I still rarely pay!! I always give a polite thank you!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
34,129 Posts
QUOTE(MONEYSHOT @ Jun 29 2004, 07:51 AM)There are numerous things you can do for a guy without paying
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,644 Posts
I can`t remember it`s been so long cince my last date
......But if I remember correctly it depended on if the were putting out on not.
J/K..I always pay!!..And happen to be open this weekend..
 
1 - 20 of 27 Posts
Top