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Just curious what ya'll think of this;

obviously we are a larger group of mixed gender "friends" though for the most part much of it is acquaintences...

But, do you think it's possible for men and women to be JUST friends and be very close?
 

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Good topic Pauline.

Women and Men have different ideas about this.

Women are often dillusional about this thinking that they can have close male-friends, and that's all there is to it when the man's agenda is a little more involved.

Men CAN be friends with women, but when it gets to a point were it's a very close relationship, you can bet you bottom dollar that the guy wants to become "more than friends" i.e. sleep with the chick.

It's the plain honest truth and if you deny it, you're a liar.

It's one thing to say yeah, I have a friend, her name is "xxxxx", and you say "Hi" to her when you see her and talk in a friendly manner. But a guy that is always hanging out with a girl-firend wants more than stimulating conversation.
 

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honestly It's never worked out for me

Al and I were very close friends for a year before he kissed me and I honestly thought that it would never become anything more than that. lol - look where that turned out.
 

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Agree. After time a guys ardor might lessen however given the right mix of alcohol and opportunity the guy will "always" look for a chance to nail her! (Except in my case though,ehhhhhhhhmmmmmm)
 

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Its unavoidable, sooner or later either the guy or girl (typicaly the guy) will want to be more than just friends. If they both do, great. If only one feels that way, that will most likely end any friendship the other one thought they had.
 

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They can be friends, i don't see why not. As long as there are no double standards in "friendship"
Women and men look at things differently.
Men are decisive, and basic. (2+2=4)
Women are feeings, and complicated(2 pair of shoes, owe i have nothing to wear with these shoes + 2 two times we went out to dinner, i had on my best outfits and new shoes and other guys were checking me out while i was with him, = 4, maybe the grass is greener on the other side, hmmmm )
same eqaution, different mathmatical method.
 

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friendships are always possible. I have two very close friends that I used to work with. Nothing more than that has ever happened (although being married may have something to do with it.)
 

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I think it is possible. I actually have a lot of girlfriends. BUT, I don't think it is possible if either of the parties are attracted to one another. Any girl that I have been friends with and was attracted to (and vice versa), the friendship was ruined by either hooking up, or someone feeling uncomfortable b/c the feeling was not mutual.
 

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QUOTE(Stazi The Aussie @ Feb 10 2004, 08:49 AM)Good topic Pauline.

Women and Men have different ideas about this.

Women are often dillusional about this thinking that they can have close male-friends, and that's all there is to it when the man's agenda is a little more involved.

Men CAN be friends with women, but when it gets to a point were it's a very close relationship, you can bet you bottom dollar that the guy wants to become "more than friends" i.e. sleep with the chick.

It's the plain honest truth and if you deny it, you're a liar.

It's one thing to say yeah, I have a friend, her name is "xxxxx", and you say "Hi" to her when you see her and talk in a friendly manner. But a guy that is always hanging out with a girl-firend wants more than stimulating conversation.
I'm really glad to see you know EVERY human on the Earth and their personallity


Meanwhile... back on earth... I have more guy friends than I do girl friends. I just have more in common with men than I do most women. And seeing as how I'm a happely married woman, I don't want any more from my male friends. And since their friends of mine that means their friends with my husband. It's like asking can a guy person and a straight person of the same sex be friends?
Sorry to call you out Aussi but I think you underestamate the Male population. And no, I am one of the most honest people you could ever meet.
 

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In all honesty, my answer is not going to win any friendships, but I have always had more guy friends than I've had girlfriends, mostly because eventually my girlfriends would feel threatened or get paranoid about their boyfriends. For example, my best friend when I was in high school had a complete fit when I told her that her boyfriend wouldn't stop being "touchy-feely" and that it made me uncomfortable. Who's side do you think she believed? So after that I realized that most women get territorial and petty when it comes to guys, so it's better not to deal with that, and I have always been better at talking to guys because they don't spend as much time thinking about "did she really mean what she said, or was she saying this and meaning that" kind of stuff. Honest to God, when I first started college in my late teens, for a short period, I found out that 1 of the guys I worked with was gay, and I was shocked, and he took me to a gay bar a few times to show me how those bar scenes were and I had a total blast because I was dancing and chatting with all these great and usually cute guys, but they had no sexual motive towards me, just fun. Thats when I realized that if you are honest right off the bat about the JUST FRIENDS thing, men and women can have a GREAT friendship, and they will probably last longer than girl/girl friendships.

keep in mind this is my opinion and experience so far.
 

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Just remember ladies everyone of your guy friends has had a sexual thought about you, married or not they have. Human nature.


Not that anything will ever come of there thoughts, they just have them.
 

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i, too, have always had more guy friends than girlfriends mostly for the same reasons as the other ladies here: they aren't as catty as women. they're simple and basic, and i like that.

can men and women be freinds? i think so. i think some men can control themselves and not every guy wants to sleep with every girl. i have to admit i've acted 'like a guy' at times and done some 'guy type' things (hee hee... that's a whole nother thread! lol!). do I want to sleep with some of my guy friends? honestly? hell yeah. i have some hot pals! would i act on it? not now. have i in the past? yes. did it hurt anything? nope. not a bit.
i enjoy hanging around my guy friends VERY much.

and just to mention, everyone's entitled to their opinion, so please don't call anyone stupid or ignorant just because their opinion doesn't match yours. keep the topic free of that to keep everyone happy. thanks.
 

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i think they can. I do not think it is impossible for a female and a male to be JUST FRIENDS, but it is rare. I had a really good guy friends who i used to hang out with all the time... NOTHING ever happened- EVER. We would give one another dating advise and such.. we both ended up getting married to other people... he was even at my wedding last year.
So even though it is RARE... i do think it is possible to have a close friend of the opposite sex.

P.S. Just as long as that close friend is not an ex boy/girl friend. I do not think it is possible to remain close friends with an Ex. Just my .02- there will always be that little tinch of something there.
 

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Bigtatas-
Try reading what I posted. Before you start going off.

I didn't say you can't have male friends.

What I said was that if you think you can have a close guy-friend, who you hang out with, regularly, in a one-on-one situation (i.e. without your hubby)and do things as a would-be couple would do, i.e. go to dinner together, watch a movie together, etc, then you're kidding yourself if you think that HE wants to only be your buddy.

Maybe you see nothing in it, but like I said, before, I bet that if you propositioned him, he'd probably sleep with you in a heartbeat.

If you think I'm full of it, then sorry sweetheart, but you have no idea.

We're mammals, and at the end of the da y, we want to procreate. Humans just go about it in a complicated manor. Instinctively all men want to "spread their seed" so they will try and do so (to a point) with which ever female they can find. does it mean we'll have sex with anyone...NO, does it mean that we want t have sex with a feamlae friend, almost always - YES.
 

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"I bet that if you propositioned him, he'd probably sleep with you in a heartbeat. "

Sounds like most of they guys I know, friend or enemy!!
 

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QUOTE(manana-II @ Feb 10 2004, 09:57 AM)P.S. Just as long as that close friend is not an ex boy/girl friend. I do not think it is possible to remain close friends with an Ex. Just my .02- there will always be that little tinch of something there.
I agree 100%.

I wouldn't tolerate it as you know that one of the parties has residual feelings for the other, and it's just ASKING for trouble!

I'll even admit it, I'm friends with my ex's, would I sleep with them agian, of course! I won't lie to you or me.

But if I got into another committed relationship with another woman, I would not "hang out" with my ex anymore, as a sign of respect to my new s/o.
 

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QUOTE(Amelia @ Feb 10 2004, 10:16 AM)"I bet that if you propositioned him, he'd probably sleep with you in a heartbeat. "

Sounds like most of they guys I know, friend or enemy!!

Probably true


I think men and women can be friends but i do believe that there will, at some point, be some sexual tension. i've been able to get past it and still remain friends with a man to this day. I guess it depends on what kind of person you are.
 

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I have a couple of great guy friends! Known one for 12 years and the other for 13. That's the proof that it can happen given the right circumstances and right people. Have I ever had sexual thoughts about either of them in the past? probably...have they thought about me? probably...the question is, who do you know that you haven't had sexual thoughts about? probably no one!
 
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