Lake St. Clair Fishing Forum banner

You Know You Drink Alot WHEN ______

3K views 81 replies 28 participants last post by  ThreeCrabs 
#1 ·
I just looked at the bottom of my shoes (utter boredom at work) and MGD is there for some reason and my very first thought was Miller Genuine Draft! Not even a beer I drink!

Was just thinking how lame mine will be with all the REALLY experienced drinking stories out there.

Not recently, but I have been hospitalized for alcohol consumption and one time at put in bay the ambulance was sent to me.

still thinking....

ps I SEE YOU VIEWING MY THREAD. IF YOU VIEW YOU POST. PERIOD.
 
#4 ·
Ummmm . . . dear! I'm getting concerned about you!


Let's go have a drink and talk about this!
 
#5 ·
Rate your Hangover

One Star Hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function
relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5
sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, your are craving a philly
sub and steak fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay
But you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are
chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing
around
the pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite
havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not
productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds
you
of the flavored schnapps' shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink.
Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy
reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3iced teas and a
diet Coke-yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or
Else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late
And has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes,
but
that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (for
the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper
cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein and even your hair hurts. Your
sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take
during the day makes the eyes water of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)

You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying
The employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of
Every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the
corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the
remnants of the booboo fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate
saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea
who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any
attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of
alcohol-scented
fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater'
seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your a$$. Death sounds
pretty good about right now.

 
#6 ·
QUOTE(INSTIGATOR @ Jan 28 2003, 02:15 PM)Ummmm . . . dear! I'm getting concerned about you! :unsure:
Why because nobody responded in 9 minutes and I threw a tantrum? Or bc I have sought medical attention in my youth? (age 15, and about 5 years ago).

By the by, thank you two for making an appearance in my thread... **ooohhh that could be NASTY~appearance in my thread and all...**
 
#9 ·
QUOTE(pauligan @ Jan 28 2003, 07:18 PM)QUOTE(INSTIGATOR @ Jan 28 2003, 02:15 PM)Ummmm . . . dear! I'm getting concerned about you!

Why because nobody responded in 9 minutes and I threw a tantrum? Or bc I have sought medical attention in my youth? (age 15, and about 5 years ago).

By the by, thank you two for making an appearance in my thread... **ooohhh that could be NASTY~appearance in my thread and all...**
Honey, you need to calm your a$$ down, before I b!tch slap you!

Just kiddin'...........somebody had to say it!
 
#13 ·
QUOTE(Saleena362 @ Jan 28 2003, 02:33 PM)When you have to say: If I don't remember, it never happened

HEY!! I've got that line COPYRIGHTED!!

INFRINGEMENT!!!! INFRINGEMENT!!!!

TAXMAN! I need to hire your brother!!
 
#14 ·
FINE Pauligan! I am burniing a calorie and responding! Just hold onto your footballs for a moment. Perhaps you need to take a time out in the Dare Chair.

Anyway...back to the original topic. As I have always said " If you can't remember it didn't happen" that works for me when drinking, therefore eliminating any wrong doing
 
#15 ·
QUOTE(manana @ Jan 28 2003, 07:39 PM)FINE Pauligan! I am burniing a calorie and responding! Just hold onto your footballs for a moment. Perhaps you need to take a time out in the Dare Chair.

Anyway...back to the original topic. As I have always said " If you can't remember it didn't happen" that works for me when drinking, therefore eliminating any wrong doing

I'll drink to that!
 
#17 ·
QUOTE(INSTIGATOR @ Jan 28 2003, 02:39 PM)QUOTE(Saleena362 @ Jan 28 2003, 02:33 PM)When you have to say: If I don't remember, it never happened
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: B)
HEY!! I've got that line COPYRIGHTED!!

INFRINGEMENT!!!! INFRINGEMENT!!!!

TAXMAN! I need to hire your brother!!
geez...what is this, gang up on Saleena Day?
 
#16 ·
QUOTE(pauligan @ Jan 28 2003, 02:18 PM)QUOTE(INSTIGATOR @ Jan 28 2003, 02:15 PM)Ummmm . . . dear! I'm getting concerned about you!

Why because nobody responded in 9 minutes and I threw a tantrum? Or bc I have sought medical attention in my youth? (age 15, and about 5 years ago).

By the by, thank you two for making an appearance in my thread... **ooohhh that could be NASTY~appearance in my thread and all...**
1) YES, to all the above
AND,
2) I love to get in your threads every chance I get!


. . . I feel a bruise coming on!
 
#19 ·
You know your a drunkard when...

You say when your drunk what you think when your sober.

You know the best beer in the world is the one in your hand.

Your favorite diet drink is slimfast and Jim Beam.

You think vomiting is the bodies way of making room for another drink.

You only drink to get rid of hangovers, and sometimes it takes all night.

Lastly, Beer does not make you fat.... It makes you lean- against bars, poles and tables.
 
#22 ·
QUOTE(manana @ Jan 28 2003, 02:39 PM)FINE Pauligan! I am burniing a calorie and responding! Just hold onto your footballs for a moment. Perhaps you need to take a time out in the Dare Chair.

Anyway...back to the original topic. As I have always said " If you can't remember it didn't happen" that works for me when drinking, therefore eliminating any wrong doing

Instigator, Saleena and myself and anyone else who believes in drinkig and follows the code of ethics ...its just a very practical and justified statment no matter who said it. I'm just glad that its a great means to a story and we all stick to it.
 
#24 ·
Let's stick to the topic here!

I believe we were talking about an orange thong w/a yellow flower, weren't we? Or is that image still lodged in my mind?
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top